Supermoms Anonymous

Can I really have it all and why would I want to?

Language Barriers a.k.a. “Do you hear me?”

on July 13, 2010

Everyone kept telling me to enjoy the diaper days because before you know it they will be teenagers.  I could not believe that life could get more complicated than being surrounded by babies.

Well it is not FAIR, I tell you. My oldest is about to become a teenager and most of the time I feel completely clueless as to what the heck his problem is.  Most conversations seem to end with him saying “FINE” or “Yes, Mom” or something similar. But it sounds like he is saying “Whatever. You can make me do what you want for now but in five years (minus 1 month,  2 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, 7 minutes, and 3 seconds), I will be free from your tyrannical rules. Then we’ll see who gets to drink caffeine, stay up all night, skip showers, abolish toothpaste and live on doritos…”

We do not even seem to speak the same language anymore.  Something as simple as “please go get the mail” suddenly causes him to come down with a rash of complaints like “Why me? Didn’t I do my chores today?  Why don’t you pick on someone else? Fine, I’ll get the mail…” Translation: You are a slave driver. I hate you.  Maybe I can drop some of the mail in the ditch.

I ask “Have you showered today?” He retorts, “I showered last night.” Translation: My body, my business. Back off,  Mom!

I say “Dinner is scrounge. Tonight is leftovers night.”  We usually empty the fridge the night before shopping. Because I am not cooking, he replies “I’m not hungry yet.” Translation: If I have to put any effort at heating up my own food and bringing it to the table, I am not eating. Besides, I ate all the good leftovers at lunch.  Mom will probably feel guilty later and cook something.  In the meantime, I can sit here and sulk.

I miss the pampers and formula days.  One cry meant hungry. Another cry meant hurt.  I was pretty good at baby translation.

I have a long way to go in my quest to understand the teenagers. Did I mention that I also have two tweens? Maybe by the time my youngest reaches the ripe old age of 13, I will speak fluent teenager-ese.


3 responses to “Language Barriers a.k.a. “Do you hear me?”

  1. Sue Hetrick says:


  2. Average Girl says:

    I wonder if parents ever get fluent in teenager-ease? The vocab is always changing…

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